Definitions

Here are some fillers to keep the ardent fans entertained while we scoop somemore shit. The definitions below resulted from many cups of ice lemon tea* and countless hours of chitty chatty in the arts canteen. Incidentally, the conversational topic below resulted in one our editors, chalk, to spit our laksa gravy through his nose. So without further ado, let us proceed with some not so typical english definitions and let the older editors of Central6 remininsce the good old days.

Demand: Pronounced as The(Dee) Man.

Demeanour( Dee Mee Na): the female version of the mat, aka the girlfriend
of demand

Deflower: the organic object that demand give to demeanour to win her
heart.

Deploy: a scheme that demand will hatch.

Divas: used in sentence structure (SS) Deflower is put in divas by
demeanour

Debrief: the garment that is also known as underwear. SS: Demand wears
debrief.

Defence: a structure that defines the perimeter of an area

Dysentry: aka guard duty. SS: Demand kanna dystentry when he jumped over
defence to meet demeanour.

Dependant: an orament that demeanour wears around her neck.

Descend: a very nice smell. SS: Descend is very alluring.

Delight: Illuminination. Delight is very bright.

Decoy: the japanese fish

Deduct: a creature that goes quack quack

Desire: a title. SS: Desire is here, pls rise.

Dethrone: the place where desire sits in

Deform: SS: Desire signs on deform to approve the budget

Design: built for the intent to direct, educate and instruct.

Demise: the plural form of mouse

Determination: the process of stopping

Describe: a person that writes for desire

Demoralise: the righteous parasite in one's hair

Device: unhealthy habits. Prostitution is device

Delay: the process of being f***ed

Decline: customers. SS: Decline went to geylang to look for device to get
delay.

Debate: an organic or inorganic material to catch decoy

*Central6 do not normally endorse products that are easily obtainable by the mass, however the ice lemone tea of The Deck is simply too alluring to not to be awarded a brief mention on Central6, bascially it costs on 50 cents.

Chapter XII

And on the third week it was quiet on all fronts, and many a reader beseeched the Great Gods 'Where art thou updates?', to which Loki* replied 'Patience, young ones - the Seeds Of Chaos bloom only during Monday lunches, for that is when the Great Gods convene to drink copious amounts of ice lemon tea and bitch about the weather.' And so the worshippers waited with patience, as Loki bade them to.


Nevertheless, the dalliances of the other Great Gods remained worthy of note:


Thor* continued the search for the prophesied mother-to-his-child; his furious blitzkrieg through the hearts of mortal women was swift and fearsome, and men trembled in their boots at the thought of being cuckolded, for they knew they appeared poor and inadequate in comparison to his exuberant charm and emotive screams during jamming sessions.


So it was that happy couples were rent and torn asunder, and even the married Lady Mal-ady found herself on extended conversations with the Thunder God about many, many things (mostly cheeky subjects best left to lovers). Meanwhile, Thor continued to rampage the world of mortal man, leaving in his wake a plague of hellfire, and of brimstone, and finally of used condoms... And the people gnashed their teeth in agony at the last plague, for while they could hide from the fire and brimstone, the public toilets and drains and sewage pipes were completely blocked, and soon the people were wading knee-deep in shit.


But such was the will of the Great Gods, for plenty of shit meant lots of stirring, and they were thus greatly pleased at Thor's irresponsible dalliances. And the year became known as The Plumber's Bullion, such was the wealth of the average plumber that he could invest in stocks and shares with reckless abandon...


Anansi the Spider God* was no less busy, and his eight legs prowled the realms of women effortlessly. Little can be said of Anansi here, save that scribes of the day noted his preferential tastes for Stupid (with a capital 'S') women of late...


(Scribe's Note: Incidentally, the chronicles of the Succubus Min Leg-Lifter have been accurately portrayed by another, and serve as a useful reference for what will no doubt be young and foolish future generations)


Neither was Bragi*, Bard of the Gods, left without role in the tales of this chapter; for Bragi had himself become embroiled in a magnificent duel of song and wit with his estranged lover. Such was the great chaos and destruction that followed the aftermath of Bragi's philandering ways that the other Great Gods had no option but to lend their strength in support of The Bard, despite their complete inability to relate to Bragi's newest musical inclinations, that being the sounds of 50-Cents-Short, Snoop Frogg and the like. Neither did they feel comfortable with Bragi's mismatched assortment of clothing... but nevertheless for a brief span the Great Gods were united, and of thunderstorms there were many as they waged fierce battles in the sky.


And all the more did the citizenry gnash their teeth and curse the Gods under their breaths... for the sewer contents had risen to waist high levels, and children under the ages of 6 were forced to don dive suits and scuba masks, swimming through seas of offal and piss. Nevertheless, this was once again the will of the Great Gods, for younger generations had become lazy and heavy-laden with iniquity, and the act of forcing them to perform intense physical activity from young was intended to toughen up both body and spirit of the children... Even if they never smelt quite right for the rest of their lives.


Odin* cannot be scribed in this chapter, for tis' Priests from the Temple of Anansi the Spider who bear this heavy responsibility. And so, the chapter endeth here.


*Match the individuals to the names yourself, cuz I ain't gonna do it for you.

Angmokioan History X(xx)

As the life of a reporter, there are countless times when we are forced to hand in tabloid reports for the purpose of sensationalising and gossiping. Henceforth, in the following report, I will undertake the dangerous yet enlightening task of clearing the air of a famous campus character, who was last seen featured in a tabloid report which allegedly cause a vehement reaction and resulted in a vindictive rebuttal disguised as the "offensive stance". It will be to the reader's delight to find out more about this mysterious Angmokian aka Mr Ang Mo Kio and in the following passages, the truth will be revealed on how and why this particular species being evolved into its current state and without further ado, through the lens of history, we shall dwell deep into the annuals of Angmokioan history X and unleash the true blue character of Mr Ang(first name) Mo Kio (Mr. AMK).

Gathering the evidence of this famous character was never easy in the first place. It took many weeks of data collation and countless hours in the archives of Mr Happy's Place, a pub cum library housing the data of many 'happy' celebrities located at the hotspot, hotbed of erm, male activities in Tanjong Pagar. We had to fend off leering looks and perverted peers on numerous occasion in the name of research and my homos, i mean homies were very brave in fending off suggestive comments like "Hey stud, wanna try the iGallop with me?" Contrary to popular belief, the iGallop was not invented by the company Orsim, it has been around for ages, just not patented by the cronies hanging out at Mr Happy's Place. They were so sure of their deus sex machina that they guaranteed in a heavily accented chinese slang, "Ni Yi Ding Hui ZAIYAO ZAIYAO(你一定会再要,再要)" Due to research purposes, we had no choice but be benevolently benign to the perverted pansies in order to find the truth of Mr AMK. Persistence finally paid off when we manage to find footage of what turn out to startling, astonishing and perception changing. It is my duty to warn the readers that the following contents will cause nauseouness and homophobia.

It is a well known fact in the modelling world that clean cherubic looks are pretty important. Fashionita-extraordinae cum talent scout cum artiste manager, Carrie Dababi remarked that, "Nerfy* has got the potential to go deep, i mean, far in this entertainment industry, his looks attracts both males and females alike." Here is his portfolio when he is with our company, BigBoy's Model Inc. "This was his contract cliching shot when he came for the audition, we knew we had to hire him immediately.


Apparently, Mr Ang added a caption for his portfolio picture and it was very memorable indeed, the caption was "May your mangoes be ripe and juicy." So upon selection into the one of the big players in the modelling industry, Mr Ang was propelled onto greater things,

He conquered the catwalks, stormed the sports scene with the endorsement of New Ulu Male's "cupper le crotch" that wooed even the most conservative of men. Mr K.K.J said that "woah, the advert really made his bulge burgeoned"

*Photos courtesy of New Ulu Male, and now with every purchase of Cupper Le Crotch, there will be a pair of nipple cock extension(as shown above in the picture) While stock lasts.

Given such a brillant track record, Mr Ang was destined for greater things.
In a tradition of leaving no stones unturned, Central6 was everywhere and our roving eye followed the leading females of his life. The prophecy was true when it was prophesised that Mr. Ang will be a skirt winner. There were never a dull moment in his life as he was caught with different women at different times of his life, varying from different sizes and age, Mr Ang is the red that every men see in their eys, of course with such gorgeous good gait, charismatic character and an outstanding occupation, who will not be jealous?

The ever doting boyfriend

Never shy of displaying his affection while posing for us

True love filtered to the purest
All was going well until one of his "loves" of his life, Imma Chewyourebush came clean with what was going on behind the blissful and lovey dovey photos. "I paid him for love", lamented the Imma, "I knew something was very wrong when i met him outside Mr Happy's Place." In a dire need to expose his true identity, Miss Imma provided us the details to find his origins. After much investigation, we finally manage to sneak into hidden archives of Mr. Happy's Place and found out the truth. At this very moment, to the fans of Mr Ang, this report is the truth and it is nothing but the truth you have read so far. Ever wondered why Mr. Ang was called the Prince of Pain?

Well, they say a picture paints a thousand words, we at central6 do not enjoy sensationalising, it is always up to our revered readers to give the final verdict. All we urge is to link the following picture with the one above. When we contacted his closest mentor, Staff Sgt. Marimuthu, he commented the following, "It must be the after effects of the back blast of our weapon Rasd, Ang was never like that, he hated being a cock and cocks. This is phua cheebye gay."

After the startling revelation at Mr Happy's Place, the cronies mumbled that POPPY(Prince of Pain) as he is affectionately known has a working motto, albeit abit communist in nature, it guaranteed satisfaction. The motto was 你一定会再要,再要! (Ni yi ding hui zaiyao zaiyao).
Mr. Ang again was unavailable for comment on press time.

*Nerfy was supposedly a term of endearment
Editor's note: For those who cannot read chinese characters, try going to View>Encoding and select Unicode option. (Internet explorers users only)

Emergency Report

TOP SECRET

STAFF-IN-CONFIDENCE

a) I have just received very important information regarding the following, and I write all of these with utmost urgency... ... It has come to my attention that news have been received about one of the moderators of this blog. Mr X. ( for more information abt Mr X pls refer to the following link - The True IDentity of Mr X ) *hint... Mr X is the person that Girl X was bitchin abt.

b) While lamenting abt my sad life and tossing in my grave today. My informant had awaken me from my slumber, a deep sleep which i had induced by being blown to bits by ballistics as well as taking a stone and knocking my own head. My informant who will just be known as Mr.Blogger is actually a spy who lurks within the Matrix of blogger.com as well as places of interest, like zouk and sentosa siloso beach.

c) After sewing me up and inducing life force into my repatched body, Mr Blogger had then proceeded to inform me about the latest updates. Not only was Mr X an accomplice in the bombing, he has also been stalked by one of his fans. ( just in case u people din't know, Mr X is actually a very popular and influential men who proliferates his ideas on underaged sex particularly 16 yr old sex, as well as personal meet up with with fans on a personal and VERY deep level - which sometimes might include "SEX-ON-THE-(fort siloso) BEACH. )

d) His fan had been stalking him, as he cruises from blog to blog, leaving tales of the undead, of men whom are obsessed with pasta and devious individuals, which intrigued many who were ignorant to these fallacies. She goes by the code name Miss Flavour Of Ice Cream, aka, Miss FOIC.

e) Miss FOIC, according to reliable sources stalks Mr X for only 1 reason to steal his Mojo, and by that, she has to of cos perform sexual favours to get his Mojo out bit by bit. Lets look at the incidents 1 by 1.

*MOJO is refered to and defined here as a men's secretion released upon a sustained stimulation of his private part.

Case E-1

LOCATION: ZOUK
DATE: 28/11/2005
TIME: CLASSIFIED
ACT OF ESPIONAGE: Miss FOIC, had gone under the cover of being Mr. X's fan, she had killed the real fan and had skin-grafted the victim's face onto her own just to get close to Mr X.
On engagement, she had then pretended to by one of Mr X's fans and had engaged him into a lustful, sexual conversation regarding initial meetings. Mr X, totally oblivious to her true identity and Mojo hungry motives had proceeded on to have intercourse with her on the dance floor at zouk. LA - JI (stirring tongues and all). She had then left with a sample of Mr X's saliva in her mouth which she had proceeded to store in her vault back in THE BASE, thinking ignorantly that saliva is MOJO. Informants had tapped on her lines and this was what they heard her say

" But my mouth is private to me what... so naturally i would assume his mojo would be released if i tickled his tonsils and interlocked my tongue with his, wasnt that enough stimulation?"

Case E-2

LOCATION:FORT SILOSO BEACH - SENTOSA
DATE: someday in DEC 2005
TIME: Between the hours of 2200 to 0300 next morning
ACT OF ESPIONAGE: After discovering that Mr. X's mojo had not beeen obtained, she decided to strike again. After failing to obtain his mojo the 1st time they met, she was foolish enough to attempt it again during a clubbing event. However, this time, Cheok and I had noticed the irregularties of her skin tone due to the skin graft and were suspicious of Miss FOIC and had subtly dragged Mr X away from danger, however, it was only much later that Cheok had picked up Admin Instructions on Miss FOIC's ploy to steal Mr X's Mojo. It was an unexpected find, the plans were actually cleverly hidden and encrypted on the patterns of a 50 dollar note. Cheok whose perceptivity kicked in instantaneously, duped Mr X into thinking that he had picked up 2 x 50 dollar note and had give Mr X another 50 dollar, a 50 50 split they say, so as to be fair.

This 50 dollar note was then examined later by our lab and had revealed the following:
STEPS TO GET MR X's MOJO.
- Bring along an ugly friend to accentuaute her beauty, so as to arouse Mr X (which worked actually)
- Get close to him on the pretext she had got him secret access to this clubbing-drug-sex-party at the beach.
- Bring Mr X away from his companions and into the bushes of portable toilets, "ENGAGE" him and steal his mojo.
Devious plan indeed but as mentioned briefly earlier, Cheok and I sensed danger and had steered Mr X away from it.

Case E-3

LOCATION: SOMEWHERE IN CYBERSPACE
DATE: CLASSIFIED
TIME: CLASSIFIED
ACT OF ESPIONAGE: Miss FOIC had continued plotting and scheming while stalking Mr X at the same time, this time she is lying low, and inactive meaning not meeting up with Mr X in the mean time (at least to our knowledge). She has attempted an approach known to others as "Fishing the Bait", she had complimented Mr X on his most recent endevour on Cyberspace hoping to get into his good books (this is the bait), and once he is happy, Miss FOIC would then ask him out and steal his Mojo through however sick method she chooses to. eg, sticking a rod up Mr X's ass and depressing his prostate gland or to choke the chicken or maybe, swalling the salami. All these are common methods, however, due to intelligence, she still prefers stealing it in the form of bukake. (Thereby fishing him up to her trap)

f) I sincerely hope this emergency report proliferates and is propagated quickly and efficiently to Mr X as he is currently uncontactable at the moment.

STAFF-IN-CONFIDENCE

TOP SECRET

Cheok's Updates Du Jour!

It's another day of absolutely c-r-a-p weather, and I sit stalwart in front of the computer screen, beating at the keys with a rumble in my stomach as I patiently await the arrival of dinner.

So let's take a short break from the accusatory nature as of late, because everyone needs a breather now and then. This truce is in part due to my feeling at peace with the world, which is supplemented heavily by dosages of The New Amsterdams in the iTunes playlist.

(Visit Newams.net to download their free EP "Killed Or Cured". In particular listen out for the lyrics of My Red Hand, because they represent an apt description of Chalk. No, seriously!)

A light review of recent events surrounding the Central 6 Crew as of late:

- The Nerf has pretty much been taken outta action, largely due to rapid technological advancement in modern weaponry. It's only been a year since my NS days, but man do things change fast: the M.I.L.A.N anti-tank system of yesteryear...



... Has been replaced by the New-age Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Through The Heart from Milan, Italy - Code-named Rasz:



A weapon of rare breed indeed: Which Final Fantasy weapon deals 10 damage to adversary and 9999 damage to self when used, you tell me? So, will someone please tell Rasz to launch home soon before The Nerf reverts to his roots and begins subscription to NAMBLA... NAMBLA being the North-American Man-Boy Love Association, by the way.

Gay bastard. Once a New Urban Male, ALWAYS a New Urban Male. But more on that another time.

- The Chowzz was, at last notice, still toiling over the perfect pasta for his crush, the Girl from Pastamania - previously referred to as Miss Upper-Bukit-Timah a.k.a. M_L (would you like to buy a vowel?)

Ok, so it's a lousy play on The Girl From Ipanema. Fuckin' sue me. Anyway... He has systematically, categorically and heartlessly denied all connections to Min-Min, his childhood sweetheart, instead redirecting double power towards creating the perfect soup base in an effort to attain his ultimate goal: The Girl from Pastamania ladling spoonful after spoonful of CHOW'S HOT PASTE INTO HER MOUTH...

Oh, what a bad typo: I meant p-a-s-t-a, not p-a-s-t-e... Must be the wet weather, it's making my fingers slow to respond...

As a sidenote, I was with Chowzz after our GPS (Govt Politics of S'pore) lecture just the other day, and just as we stepped into the Deck we bumped right into the Girl from Pastamania. Chow proceeded to turn a startling shade of beet-red, but fortunately for him Miss Upper-Bukit-Timah seemed to have not noticed; instead, she claimed (much to my amusement, and obviously to Chow's gorging ecstacy) that we were most certainly there to LOOK FOR HER.

Like, huh? Upon further probing by the 2 experienced members of Team Central6, however, we quickly discerned the source of her disillusion...

- The Devious Chalk has been feeding Chow poisoned information all this time! While intentionally delaying Chow's creation of the sacred soup-base by means of numerous rejected calls and continued ambiguity with regards to the recipe details, Chalk has actually been undercutting Chow on the sidelines... He'd arranged a lunch meeting with Girl from Pastamania on the sly! The sneaky fella!

You do us Wongs proud, Chalk.

Ever the viper, Chalk seems to have forgotten his relationship with the Alphafemale (see earlier entry for more information on the Alphafemale) just days after its fruition... Now, I don't know WHAT sort of fruition we're talking about here (maybe its not love... just sex...) but it appears that affairs regarding the Alphafemale have gone straight down the rubbish-chute, seeing as to Chalk's newfound pursuit of the Girl from Pastamania.

Are we going to see a 3 cornered fight in the squared circle? Or will it be another sardine-formation orgy on the mattress in Chalk's bedroom*?? Stay tuned!!!


*: Information courtesy of Haro

P.S.: Nerf attempted to post a huge-ass disclaimer message here to cover his left arsecheek, but Admin deleted due to its irreconciliability with Kill Is Love's general intent of Kill Everyone And Let God Sort 'Em Out. Nevertheless, Admin still gently reminds all readers to take all entries with a pinch of salt in the eye, you anal fucktards. It's all for the fun of it, after all.

The OFFENSIVE STANCE!

Due to a latest update in intelligence, it has come to my attention that some how i have faced constant artillery shelling (threats) from my various comrades. Which would include the faces other than the most gothic muthafucker you can find at the top of this blog.

To be honest i feel that lionel is off the most innocent of all with regards to me and with every single word that i'm typing write now, i honestly and starting to doubt his innocence. No matter. As for Chalk, oh well he's already been victimised... which leaves only CHOW!!!!!
OMG LOVELY.

KELVIN CHOW ZHI HONG
(some pronounce as CHEE HONG ) aka, pussy boy.

This MVP of the 2002 rubgy interclub as well as the 2005 MVP in NUS. claims somehow that he is invincible. The entity above all, the untouchable... But the unstirrable... ... ?

NEWS FLASH!!!
Here at "Kill is Love" no one and i MEAN absolutely NO FUCKING PERSON is unstirrable, especially if you're the advocate of shit stirring.

In the words of Chalk:

CHALK: I stir until your shits got no lumps left ar.

CHOW: Yar yar.... stir until SMOOTH

CHALK : HAHAHA SHIT SMOOTHIE.

***All of which were targetted at me (NERF).

Speaking of which, it has just dawned upon me that the word SMOOTH as used by chow is absolutely characteristic of himself...


LET TAKE A CLOSER look why....?

-------->

As some might have already known, this girl is MIN MIN (definately not her real name). Chow's new SQUEEZE. And yes A4 Guys: This girl commonly sighted in chow's roo, is his new squeeze! WHY FUCKING ELSE WOULD SHE BE IN HIS DAMN ROOM LYING SEXILY ON HIS BED? Oops...

Not to mention the demonstrations of her leg lifts! Oh My God. Those muscles of those inner thighs, definitely a shiok shiok squeeze for you, Chow.... UGGGHHHH!!!!

Here at "Kill is love" we do our secret research and SPY activities. And according to two anonymouse sources, Chow has also admitted the following:

CHOW : "WAH I LIKE HER BODY SHAPE SIAL..."

CHOW : "Ooooolala... It's just the type i like..."

CHOW : "Dun u think she really looks like CHRISTY CHUNG?"

CHOW : "I really wouldn't mind ******* her..." (use your imagination)

How fucking obsessed can one get over 1 girl? The illusion and fog that obsession and lust can cast over another's is beautifully illustrated above as we can see. Christy Chung? OH MY FUCKING GOD WHICH PART OF HER LOOKS LIKE CHRISTY CHUNG?? 2 eyes, 1 nose 1 mouth? Hahaha... the extent of which one would go to describe their boo... ... DISGUSTING. And the lust oozing from him... "Oooooolala.... It's just the type i like..."

GOD...*pukes*

Well, at least we know they're happy. Look!

AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! SHO SWEEETT!!!!!

This picture has been heavily censored, due in part to nudity and also to protect Chow's wife's integrity... It's the same girl, just in case you're wondering.

Oops - did i say wife? Shit...

Well, the OFFENSIVE STANCE... is the BEST DEFENCE.... =)

WE shall pronounce them erm, platonic Husband and Wife

To the normal university student it is never a weird sight if a couple is seen walking closely together along the corridors of school campus, they may look like a newly attached couple, head-over-heels in love, harboured in their horny, "hunny-bunny" honeymoon. Well, it is rumored that Ohio is for lovers, but to hell with that rumor, the truth is here to stay, N-U-S is for lovers. "There really seemed to be chemistry between them, they made Lionel and Sammy* look bad" remarked a casual passerby identified as Chin Chye Kong. Unfortunately for Lora(not her real name again), she wasn't the woman that is fortunate enough to stay so close to her beau, it was a one night that never manage to stand (through time of course, other things, ceteris paribus, did stand.) Now exclusively for our readers only, Central6 will be revealing never-seen-before footage of the elusive couple of 2006 as they strolled lovingly along the picturesque and pleasant pathways of 'Le Deck'.

Chalk aka "Fast and Furious Fingers" (guitar player mah, what you thinking?) was seemingly caught with his latest 'stratocaster' on a day that was opulently ominous with signs. The everlasting and enduring rain set the foundations for a blossoming springtime romance which perhaps may never see autumn. The pair according to eyewitness, Ruan Luan Lai were engulfed in throes of laughter and giggling, acting as if they are in a state of bewildered bliss. It was never known how the couple came about to such closed proximity, although it was rumored that Chalk was tired with the constant quarrels of his promiscious partner back at Ohio and decided to visit this sunny island for a breather. He arrived on campus in search for the next female lead for his latest single, I Will Do Anything To Settle Down(But I Won't Do That) from the album Ah Fat out of Hell. It seems now that he got more than he bargained for.

Before the picture was taken, according to a fellow diner at 'Le Deck', Lui Baey Hiao, "You wouldn't have thought that they were just only platonic friends, they look more like husband and wife." It was also noted that the couple was seated at the terrace of 'Le Deck' over-looking the magnificent Law faculty carpark and library, amongst the companionship of several avant garde characters of campus, most notably, the company of Mr. AMK. Incidently, Mr. AMK was seen wolfing down one plate of pork chop and another plate of mixed veg rice. It seems that his eating disorder or rather 'habit' is a recent rebuttal to the public that he is suffering from post break-up syndromes after his relationship ended with a certain socialite (continue on pg 6). Meanwhile back to the story, reported denials have been made by Chalk aka Tangy Tongue (pls la, he needs his tongue to articulate well for his band, no dirrrty thoughts pls) and that he will, in order to prove his undying love for his one and only beau, re-hash the song, "TELL LORA I LURVE HER" (nu-metal-post-rock-pre-apocalyptic-ambient-downtempo-screamo-extended-till-die-remix). When asked who the "mysterious alphafemale" was, Chalk could only mutter "No comments" and return to composing his latest piece of music while whistling out the tune that remotely sounds like The New Amsterdam's Red Hand. Is that a Freudian slip of his guilt or is that one of his latest original tune? That will be up to you our revered readers to postulate. The "mysterious alphafemale" caught in the picture was not available for comment during press time. Stay tune for more roving campus eye by your ever friendly and entertaining Central6. More on Chalk aka Guily Guitarist on our newly mounted aunt agony section, Good Girl Hunting.

*Due to the minority of the individual, the full name is withheld.

We're Open, Motherfuckers!

It's almost an hour after 12, so technically i'm opening accounts abit late. But nevertheless, I now declare Kill Is Love officially open as of today, the first day of Semester 2!

Everyone can begin the mud-slinging festivities as of now... But firstly, a short opener as to why we've titled this blog Kill Is Love:

I vividly recall the day Sem 1 exams ended for 2 significant reasons: firstly, because English Langage 1101E sucks to the core and after finishing the paper I confirm+chop knew I was gonna get shit grades for it; and secondly, because I had a rather interesting MSN conversation with dear cousin Chalk. This particular conversation revolved a certain Lora (not her real *cough* name), and her being spotted with Chalk in Phuture the evening before.

Now, Chalk's response to heavy artillery shelling was to play the family relations card, which went something like this:

Chalk: eh

Chalk: dun like that la

Chalk: we cousins dont stir each other la

Cheok: ... lol ok

So that's fine and dandy, and I dropped the issue in favour of bothering about random Warcraft 3 custom maps with Chow, who was sitting beside me. That was, until Chow received a couple of rather interesting MSN messages from Chalk.

Chalk: ay

Chalk: dun stir me ah

Chow: stir what? (feigns ignorance when he's actually sitting right beside me and we've been talking shit for the past hour)

Chalk: oh nothing

Chalk: ay lets stir some shit about my cousin

Chalk: lets kill lionel

At this incredibly opportune moment, I pop my head over to see what's on Chow's laptop, read what my dear cousin has written, and silently turn my screen so that Chow can read the message history between Chalk and I, dialogue occurring not more than 10 minutes ago.

Oh, the sneaky bastard!

And so we have now concluded that the Kill Bill tee that Chalk owns sums it up best: If Quentin Tarantino tells you Kill is Love, it must be good stuff to kill all your friends. After all, PAPUPI WE ARE FRIENDS*.

Ergo, this blog shall be dedicated in the name of love to our dearest friends: While we can't literally decapitate you like O'ren Ishii, we can certainly kill your reputation in the most gory ways imaginable.

I love my friends. Don't you?


P.S. - The day just isn't complete without noting Chalk's slipup over dinner at KFC:

Chalk: "That time Yuka (not her real *coughs* name) borrowed my phone because hers was dead right, then after she use message finish she took out the SIM card but the phone still got the message. You know, right? How Nokia phones these days still will retain the message in the phone one? Anyway, yeah, then the next morning I read the message..." -blah blah blah-

Me: "... The next MORNING...? OH, SO YOU TWO... EHHHH...."

Kill is love, people... Kill is Love.


*: Chow's wallet is a multi-coloured work of art which looks like it's been stolen from a primary school kid. It's got pictures of 3 cutesy animals along with the words PAPUPI WE ARE FRIENDS emblazoned on it. Go figure.