Brokeback to the Future I

Why Hello to all out revered readers out there, it has been brought to our attention that our website had not been updated since the previous episode of "Fistcuffs over Chinatown". Rest assured our dear readers, Central6 is not slacking away, but rather burying our heads in tons and tons of newspaper archives and sieving through quality information to provide the greatest exposee of all time. Recent big issues such as the Serangoon Shooting or the Anarchy of Arroyo's regime could not be compared to the latest finding made by us. To all our readers out there, there is a "backbroker" on the prowl. Yes, it is true, not a heartbreaker, or a stock broker. He is what we term as the "backbroker". Why do we say so? It is because, apparently, this "backbroker" bloke will sneak up to you when your back is facing him and with a sleight of hand and twist of fate, his arms will wrap around your waist. Oh the sensation is not just one of shock, but one that feels like you are "on a bed of nails (and)he makes you wait" Apparently, the main target will not be the softness of your waist but instead the scaly feeling of your spine against his body. This is what we call "broke-backing", the jargon these "backbrokers" make, claiming that they are brokers for your virgin back.
Fear not our readers, this "backbroker" has been identified and he has been spotted amongst the angsty teens of "Le Deck". Apparently it was not the first time that he had been "broke-backing" there. We at Central6 manage to dig up some really old newspaper articles of "brokebacking" and it is imperative that we expose this brazen "broke-backing" bastard to save your virgin backs.

Photos Courtesy of Joel's Studios. Copyrighted 14 Feb 2001
"Brokebacker" Wong doing what we call a "You jump, I jump" post, caught broke-backing.

This picture clearly exemplified a process whereby the victim was getting her back, brokered. The "backbroker", Wong Cheok ****** aka Moshing wif Kosheen(name witheld in order to protect the victim) is related to one of the up and coming stars of the rocking world, Chalk aka Fast and Furious Fingers whom incidentally was also featured in our exclusive reports here at Central6. It seems that the family always get into the limelight for the Wong (pardon the pun)reasons. Now back to current time, 14th of February 2006. It seems that a leopard never changes its spot, a tiger never changes it stripes, a wong can never be right.

Photo Courtesy of Chalkism

A few years later, alerted by one of our readers, Bu Shi Ghey, we caught with our very special roving camera, Wong Cheok ******* alias Wongcheok after shedding a few pounds, is approaching his lolita at the chai peng rocks store (once again) for another session of "back-broking". Fortunately this time, it was just a misunderstanding, for WongCheok now is an esteemed guest in MOS with his new beau, Miss Chin Kong Kum always moshing to hip-hop tunes and willing "backbrokers" to each other. It was just a harmless friendship day gesture by Wongcheok (at this moment we appeale to our revered readers to look closely to his left arm, and where is it heading, you guys decide.) When interrogated, Wongcheok's defense was "Happy Valentine's Day and may all your mangoes be ripe and juicy." Now where did we hear that before?

This was what Wongcheok gave to shar-oops on 14th Feb 2006.

Now let us all come together once more to decipher what is the truth and what is not for here at Central6 only provides the evidence for our readers to think for themselves. Till next time, this is Central6 signing out.

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Fisticuffs Over Chinatown

Like light to the flies, the crew of Central6 has once again invited some major trouble, this time in the form of a dreaded...

Bizarre Bermuda Love Triangle of Doom: Kelvinchow vs. Nerfyphua

Announcer: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of ALL ages...! Welcome to Monday Night RAW! As you know, the World Heavyweight Shit-Flinging Title is up for contention tonight so, without any further ado, may I introduce the CONTESTANTS!"

"In the BLUE corner, weighing in at 138lbs, wearing the gay-purple shorts and gloves... He is the challenger, and you know him as MR ANG MO KIO... We haveeeee... Kenneth 'NERFY' Phua!!!

*Whoops and wild applause*



I will give you 'ang bao', hmmm...? One wonders what special 'ang bao' this is... Not all little packets are necessarily red in colour... Better yet, it's a trade for Kenneth's *ahem* ORANGES, huh? HMMM.

What, no hot-sauce? Oh behave, Nerfy...


Announcer: "... And in the RED corner, weighing in at 186lbs and wearing the bleeding emo-red shorts and gloves... Always acting like an innocent lamb... He is the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... Presentingggg... Kelvin 'THE SLAMMER' Chow!!!

*Cat-calls and wolf-whistles*



What a photo! What love!! Taken only recently after a hot Chinatown outing over the new year, it's clear why Chow is the reigning champion: That oozing machismo... His Rugby God status... The doting, loving kiss he plants on L-sy's cheek to comfort her from the horrors of the monster crowd... He's a bonafide winner, guys. I'm sorry, it's true. Just look at him - I'm telling you, you can practically FEEL the tender emotion from across the screen.

Be very fearful when the Heavyweight Champion lurks, I tell you - There's no telling how many girls he could break the hearts of! Not 10 girls not 80 girls not 2andahalf girls not 800 girls not choot-choot girls not 30 girls just TOO MANY GIRLS!!

We shall all pray for a peaceful resolution to this totally-violent and utterly-destructive conflict. Also, don't forget to pray that Underworld: Evolution turns out to be a good movie while you're at it. Stay tuned for Valentine Day Gift Ideas, coming up next!